it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
