So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
