i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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