apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
