i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
