Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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