I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
