I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
