Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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