I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
