Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
