I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
