TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
