shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sorry about my life...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
