The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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