so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
