i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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