Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
