Moan for me like Helen Keller
only if we run a train.
done.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
