well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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