maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
