I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
