I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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