We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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