My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This can only be settled by a dance off.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
