I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
