There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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