Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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