your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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