I don't remember. Are we still dating?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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