As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
