what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
