i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this just has baby written all over it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
