Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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