were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
3pm strippers are depressing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
