oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
