how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
