Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
