I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
