So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
