So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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