Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
