careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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