His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
