Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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