Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
In America we eat man semen.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
