Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
