so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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