U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
