He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
