Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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