wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
