At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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