I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
